Self-worth

Ms. Kim

I am Hector,

We moved to our new house it was hard because i  dont have anyone to play with me. I dont like Ottie. i cry every night. They call me weirdo, nerd, dummy stupid, fatso. They dont invite me to their birthday parties, what will i do? My mom says things will change but i know they won"t. Tell me what to do, i dont know. Hector

Dear Hector, 

Thank you for writting it must feel painful hector. You exsplained yourself well and i understand. it can be  hard to be called names, you deserve to hear the good things about your self, it can begin to feel like you are stupid but you know thats not true Hector. Hector some children when they feel badly stop trying to  make friends, the names people call us hurt, but thats not really who you are. being called names hurts, and is no fun. It makes it hard to go places where we might here those words again. tell your parents how you feel as much as you can, ask your parents to help you find a hobby you like that includes  different  kids, other children have said this has helped.  find a  sport or a hobby. I am your friend Hector and you can write me whenever you want to. i would enjoy getting another letter from you. Keep telling your parents how you feel, it  would also be a good idea for your mom or dad to talk to your teacher to see how they can work together and help build you some friendships. Calling people names is not alright, it must stop right now!

Love

Ms. Kim

Once someone said i looked like a monkey, i did not like that, it hurt hurt!

My name is Darin and i am in middle school this the worst year of my life I hate school and my parents think i don't try, but i do. I started to drink beers its the only time i feel ok.. 

It sounds like your really  having a tough time at school, sometimes junior high is difficult You said your parents think your not trying but you are. Sometimes when we have a  di day it makes it hard to concentrat on school work also drinking beer makes it harder to study and to do well in school.Beer does not cover up the sad feelings but will make you feel worse about yourself, thats why its not helpful. Darin would you be willing to talk to the school counselor about the way you are feeling? You deserve to be helped and you wont feel so sad. feel soo badly thank you for writting i liked getting a letter from you and i hope you go to the counselor tommrow.

Its hard to watch as our children suffer. Self esteem is how you see yourself, your motivation to acheive your goals, how valuable you see yourself to be. Parent family members , teachers and other adults play a big role in providing love and encouragment if children feel loved and suported they are lillely to have better self esteem.

What does low self esteam look like. Is your child always putting themselves down? Are they with drawn and always want to stay at home,  and not participate, do they lack confidence in trying new things are they very sensitive to critisisum, do they have trouble making and keeping new friends, do they need constant eassurance from you or others?

Children's feelings of worthlessness  can be damaged if: They feel rejected by their parents, children will dislike themselves in the measure of criticism they receive, they believe what their parents say about them  

Children  need love and respect to feel like they matter and can thrive. iif children live in an   environment  with a constant diet of degradeing words, like you are bad, you will never amount to much or you cant do anything right, and hear words like dummy and stupid. 

if they are unfavorably compared to other children it damags how they think of themselves or if they rea valued for beauty, possesions or money when this happens children have shallow root to wheter the storms of life. 

if they beleive they are unlovable, they love others as much as they have been loved. yhis site will give you a loving vocabulary that will help you build self worth into their lives and they will start to believe you and grow.

WHAT TO DO 

 help your child by Challenging self talk saying i know you feel badly but you are not stupid  

Build their confidence by asking their opinion about something, listen to their suggestions and then do it. 

Give them one simple task at a time when they follow through thank them by saying good job, or thank you.

Teach them to be an espert at something they like this will give them a healthy sense of pride.

Be a friend children like it when adults say Im your friend if i can help you i will.

Spend one on one with each child, this gives them a sence of value.

Help them look at alternitives to solving problems teach them not to give up. Help them at their own speed.

Find other children with simular interests, Art is an amazing way to help children express their feelings. Be causeul about failure, we all fail, its ok its part of life, we all have hard days they will too, help by saying "looks like you had a hard day can i help'. i will teach you a bunch of vocabulary that will sooth their soul and you will be equipped with verbal love. Touching children is one way to say i love you too, like warm hugs.

Love 

Kim