the anxious Child

FEAR NOT FOR I AM WITH YOU Isaiah 41:10

ms. kim

i am writting because my mom says i am afraid of everything, i dont want to go to school or play with friends, i like staying home with my parents, i like to go every where they go. when my mom goes to the store i always want to go with her. i like my friends but i dont like going to school. i cry when my mom drops me off and beg her to take me home, sometimes she does, then im happy, what will help. Sometimes i think someone might kid nap me, or hurt me. maybe my mom or dad might die, who would take care of me. What would i do? i would be alone.

Tommy  

Dear Tommy, i am glad you wrote me to tell me how you are feeling, i understand all you have written, you write very well.  it must be hard to have feelings and fears about your daily life like getting hurt,being kid naped or your thinking your parents might d e. Tommy other children have felt the same way as you do, talking to your parents as much as you want can help, drwaing pictures about what you fears are have helped other children. if this continues for awhile longer your mom might want to take you to your regular Dr. Could you tell him what you have told me. He would like to hear how you feel too. Tommy I am your friend and i liked your letter very much, write me again to tell me how its going.

with Love

Ms.

PARENT POINTS

Almost all kids feel anxious at least some of the time partly because anxiety fosters healthy development, anxiety before a test or social anxiety before and event or seeing certain people,  these are norma anxious feelingsl. At the same time, studies show that children are more anxious than the children of the 40 and 50s. How can we telll the difference between normal anxiety and overly anxious children that legitimately need evaluation? More and more children are being seen for worrisome anxiety than any other time in history. There are normal anxieties, like being left alone, of other sometimes   anxious about new situations. But when does anxiety raise a red flag?  

Our world has become a hot bed of fear and anxiety so tone things down at home. Anxiety in a childs life may present in  growing feelings of fear or worry, making children clingy, irritable, disobdiant and angry. they not capable of understanding their feelings and acting out Anxiety can also include physical symptoms, trouble sleeping, eating to much or not enough, over activity, childhood depression, head aches or stomach eches. Some anxious children keep their worries to themselves and thus the symptoms can be missed, try to read their body language, think about the day they have had, whether are they just tired or is something else going on. Is thier life to busy, do thy need more down time? Being consiously aware of your children and their behavior will help you manage and correct some of the stress they are under.  On the page "Honey for a Childs heart" i have a vocabulary for giveing them healthy boundaries, even firm ones.

Our culture is moving so fast its easy to get overwhelmed. children get overwhelmed too. Bring down the stress in your home bring in fun, laughing and play lower anxiety levels.  warm baths, nurtring vocabulary, soft music, help with cooking,reading books, routines, and quiet will be a destresser for your child everyone needs quiet. T.V. is a top stresser in our culture, turn it off, if you must, watch soothing shows about the animal kingdom,   nature shows, and the universe, educational shows, national parks and  touring other countries.  Bring down the stress in your home, are you stressed?

Every one squbles some times with their spose, but continual anger and stressful feelings fill a house and brings deep sadness and anxiety., figure away to bring it down.  there anger and upset in your home? Deal with it, its emotionally unpsetting for all of you. make a pack with your spouse to talk later after children are in bed and can not hear adult convesation.Your children will be naturally upset, acting their pain out, you thinking its just bad behavior. In this day and age most people are scrambling to get through the day, our world seems to be falling apart, its not. Shield, them age apparently, be gentle with your self. find a way to release as much of your anxiety as possible. speak kind words to yourself. 

Children internal the stress in the home., they feel and take on the anxiety of the people around them. It will affect your childs life. What are they watching on TV . for young children even some disney movies are full of mean disobdient children  children and adults, witches, and monsters. instead, give warm baths, reading to your children develops their creativity and lets them have fun imagining adventures, through  clasical soothing music has been said to raise a childs IQ. Music in our world is made for adults with concepts that are not good for children. See ten ways to calm a child on the Honey for a Childs Heart pages 

HEART TO HEART TALK

It's time to talk about the real fears adults should have for their children, it is no longer possible to send your children to the restroom by themselves in public places. Our culture has changed so much. we can not have a generation of young people watching pornography as part of their youthful up bringing, and not expect concequences. There is more reported incidents of pediphilia than the police and social services can handle. What are we to do, keep our children safe by going to the bathroom with them or inact the buddy seystem.  is a  keep your tecnology safe and away, in a place where you can see it while your children are on it. We have a generation that is exsperiencing the full on ramifications of pornogrphy and pedifilia in our culture, I hate to say it but its true,  have studied this and seen this up close in person and its ugly.

As a Pastor of Children's Ministry with 300 children I was required to take classes concerning sexual predators and their calculated conduct,  they like meeting together, dividing territories, and sharing knowledge like safe soft targets where its easy to get to children. Churches, day cares, and (bathrooms) at all and any event.  i was in shock, i remember being upset for weeks, and i still am in shock. i had no idea. im passing this information on to you. How ever the greatest numbers of molestation is within families, by older brothers, uncles, friends, fathers...This is a gentle warning.